When I first started my glamour brand, I invited some friends over for a “girls night in” at my home studio. I paid for hair/makeup artists and I wanted to get some photography practice with models and build up my portfolio. The night went pretty well, we had wine and snacks. We laughed and dressed up in pretty clothes. The girls were so excited to see the photos that they kept asking to see the back of my camera. Only I knew that I was just practicing and that there would probably be some not so flattering shots on there, because let’s face it, I didn’t know what I was doing! I was learning, making mistakes, and basically just practicing my posing.
Handing over the camera, was like handing over my heart. And it was super hard to except the fact that the shots weren’t perfect. That someone of them just didn’t work, some were under-exposed, sometimes I caught them when they were blinking, and some poses were not as flattering as I thought there were. Also, when the girls did see some of the images, they picked themselves apart (like most women do) and that was totally not my intent with hosting the party. I wanted my friends to feel pampered and gorgeous.
To this day every time someone asks to see the images on the back of my camera, I cringe a little inside. It’s my least favorite part after a session (and something I do not let clients do because it ruins the surprise). And while I’m trying to get better about letting people see some of the photographs, I still feel really vulnerable. When I watch CreativeLive, I’m all always amazed at how confident those photographers/instructors are shooting tethered to a TV screen. I guess I’m struggling with that fact that not every image I take is going to be perfectly exposed, perfectly lit, or perfectly posed. I’m a human photographer after all. And I’m always learning, or at least trying to get better.